I went to a ski resort recently. Since I was born and raised—and still live—in a place where it never snows, being in a snowy environment feels very special and different. Going somewhere like that is so refreshing; I’m really glad I went. It had been several years since I last skied, but my body remembered how to do it, and I could ski reasonably well. It’s so mysterious. For instance, I probably couldn't solve the entrance exam math problems I studied years ago, but I can still ski because my body learned it. It made me realize that while knowledge fades, things you learn through your senses stay with you. Besides skiing, I ate delicious food, saw beautiful scenery, and met someone special to me. It turned into a wonderful memory. I'm so glad I went!

I recently celebrated my 25th birthday. Realizing I’ve entered my late 20s, I still feel young, yet I can’t shake this growing sense of urgency that I’m drifting away from "youth." I’ve decided that 25 will be the year I finally follow through on everything I’ve left half-finished. By the time I turn 26, I want to see clear, visible results in three specific areas: English, fitness, and flexibility. Take English, for example. I’ve always had the motivation to become a speaker. For years, I’ve dabbled—doing online lessons here and there, or brushing up on grammar every now and then. But it was always too sporadic. It never became a steady habit, and nothing ever stuck. If I keep going like this, I’ll just end up as an old man who "feels" like he studied but never actually learned to speak. This year, I’m going to push myself until I can actually hold a conversation. Fitness is the same story. I’ve always been insecure about being thin, so I’ve exercised on and off, but nothing has changed because I wasn't consistent. Flexibility, however, is an urgent matter. I injured my hip before, and ever since, my lack of flexibility and narrow range of motion have made me prone to pain. If I don't act now, I might even face hip replacement surgery in the future. I need to prioritize my hip flexibility immediately. Right now, I’m consistently taking online English lessons and hitting a personal gym. I’m going to keep this momentum, increase my frequency, and stay focused.

It’s the beginning of 2026. Looking back on last year, my trips to Cambodia and Mongolia stand out the most. Other than that, it was a calm year with not many particularly memorable events. In other words, it was a year with little change. When nothing changes, even though a whole year has passed, I start to feel bored with myself, as if I haven’t grown at all. It gives me a strange, almost inhuman sense of emptiness. That’s why this year, I want to make it a year of real change. Here are my goals for the year. For my health ・Wake up by 7:00 every morning ・Go to personal training and build muscle ・Stretch every night after taking a bath ・Write a short journal every morning, separate from this one For my skills ・Improve my English ・Release at least one personal app every month ・Start some kind of side business For my work ・Of course, I will do my job properly, but I want to work in a relaxed way and focus more on my private life than on work. I’m going to keep going this year with energy and intention.

I went to a friend’s wedding for the first time. I had attended weddings of relatives before, but this was my first time going to a close friend’s wedding. I didn’t even own a proper suit for formal occasions, so everything—from buying a suit to understanding the whole process—felt like stepping into a completely new world. It was genuinely a very good experience. I am not really the type who strongly wants to have a wedding myself, but I found myself wanting to attend more of my friends’ weddings and receive that sense of happiness again. I used to have a rather negative image of weddings, mainly because of the cost. I always thought of them as something that costs around three million yen in just half a day. But after attending this one, I feel like I finally understand why people choose to have them. There are very few opportunities in life when so many friends from different stages of your life gather in one place, and there are probably even fewer moments when you are celebrated by that many people at once. If someone worries about the cost, it probably means they truly want to do it — and in that case, I think they should. Personally, I am not well suited to being celebrated in front of a large crowd, so I cannot say I strongly want a wedding for myself. Still, I want to actively participate in as many of my friends’ weddings as I can.

It’s hard to believe the year is already coming to an end. I’ve finished work for the year and now I have about nine days off. I want to spend the end of the year just doing nothing and relaxing, but when I actually do that, I start to feel guilty. I catch myself thinking, “I could have used this time to do something more meaningful.” So even resting in that lazy way sometimes becomes mentally exhausting. The strange thing is, I need to be lazy to truly rest, but being lazy also makes me uncomfortable. It’s a bit of a contradiction. Recently, though, I’ve started treating “being lazy” as a task. By seeing it not as something bad but as an intentional task for keeping my mind stable, that uncomfortable feeling has mostly disappeared. So this year’s plan for the holidays is simple: I’m going to be lazy. Changing the subject, I’ve been saying “I want to speak English” for about ten years now. For the past decade, I’ve repeated the same cycle: study a little, then stop. Letting both my motivation and my studying drift along like this isn’t good. I’ll organize these thoughts properly in another diary entry someday.